The Victors

For background, she was working at nonprofit in the UP as a child/victim advocate type of thing; I'm still not 100% sure what they did, but they did "forensic interviews" with child victims of offenses and then served as a liaison/advocate between them and police and prosecutors. It was a startup with her girlfriend and another friend; they had worked at something similar in Flint and moved up to Marquette to start one.

It kind of blew up in that her gf 1) cheated on her and had been for the whole time they were together and 2) also kind of fucked up the nonprofit. I posted about it on the other board, but she did a bunch of shady stuff, missed payroll a couple times due to, allegedly, accepting another tax ID number instead of getting their own and owing a ton of back taxes for someone else (I'm dubious that's even a thing but whatever, it was a disaster is what it was), she had a whole second job at another nonprofit (also in a leadership position; who has the fucking time to do 2 leadership jobs at 2 different orgs? Well, I guess you can if you do a shit job).

So she eventually got drummed out and another nonprofit took over management. My SIL and her friend finished out the first year, got it going, and decided they each needed a break. So she quit her job.

Which, I get, but she's in her late 30's, has not had a particularly stable work history (not through misconduct but just not really having a plan), she has some health issues...and the job paid, I think, like 60k, which is a lot for a low cost area and someone who hasn't traditionally made a ton of money. Which is to say, while I get where she was coming from, quitting was...a choice.

So she moved back in with her mom, which went not great. So my wife offered her to move in with us. Which was fine. Knowing we're going to move eventually, we have a forced way out if it doesn't work and kicking her out is too much. And I thought it would go well enough, and it mostly has. She helps out around the house, and frankly is nearly cost neutral since she watched our dog a bunch and does a lot of cooking which my wife, left to her own devices, will just order DoorDash, which gives me hives just on general principle.

Anyway.

She's been with us since spring. It's been fine but I've been trying to help nudge her towards applying for jobs. Which she has, eventually, slowly, gotten to. But there's still no ambition or sense of urgency. Like she found some education jobs, but then saw there was some kind of licensing requirement so she stopped looking. It took 15 seconds of googling to find out it was a license or a college degree (in anything), which she has. Like, just apply and make them tell you no, or help you figure out how to make it work.

I found a few jobs on base that'd be good to very good. Victim advocate jobs, sexual assault prevention. Federal jobs, paying like 60 or 70k! Real benefits. "Nah, need a break from that." ...Fine, but, again, what's your plan then?

She finally, FINALLY, gets a job with some gift shop. Part-time, like 2 days a week. Barely any money, certainly no benefits. But, something. So, that's a start.

But we had a job post at my old office, an admin job that'd be perfect for her, including her victim advocate background. But then it turns out it's only open to federal employees, vets, spouses...not the general public. bummer. They said they'd open it up if they don't get enough qualified applicants which, eh, they probably will.

But the kicker for this was, I told her, and she said she was stuck anyway because she didn't have a copy of her transcript (they want that as proof of college education).

....How do you not have that? you've been between jobs off and on for awhile. you've gotten hired, including at a state job. Surely that's come up. And again, I'm sure it's easy to get, but she's just...not doing it? Having trouble figuring it out?

I don't get it. I'm hardly history's most ambitious man. I'm a career middle management government bureaucrat. I make no apologies; it's a fine enough life. But how do you just...not give enough of a shit to want to do something with your life? Aren't you terrified of being broke? I am! I can't imagine not having a source of steady income. It'd keep me up nights. Just...nothing?

But, it's a start. That's something, anyway.