The Victors

And shit like stop signs are flying through the air, and then a 50 ft oak tree falls on your house, and the electricity goes out, and you are up until three in the morning emptying the 15 buckets in your master closet from the horizontal rain coming through the gaping whole in your roof caused by an oak tree branch penetrating the structure, and then your insurance company pays you 25 cents on the dollar of what shit really costs to replace, because they are gravy sucking pigs, and now the fart turns out to be a shart, because you never stopped to think about what the wind really sounds like at 150 mph, and it's terrifying, it’s like 85 horses from hell who breathe fire and shit napalm running up and down your driveway, and then you find out your gravy sucking pig insurance policy has a rider exempting coverage from napalm damage, and then the other pigs, with the flock cameras they use to stalk ex girlfriends and strippers, who are always so into them when they are in the club, but for some reason not so much when you confront them behind the club at 3 am when they are getting off work, so you use the data from the flock cameras, which btw have solid gold wiring, diamond encrusted lenses, and when you break open the lens case a genie pops out , and grants you three wishes, so spread the word about that, but you didn’t hear it from me, and they use it to stalk the stripper, to find out what time she typically goes to the grocery store, so they can randomly bump into her in the cottage cheese isle, where they say pithy things to her like ‘are you buying 2% cottage cheese because you’re fat? I mean, because you could totally afford to eat the 4% if you wanted’ , and then the pigs came back, because they were watching you on the flock cameras, and it appears to them that your son is very subversive.