I guarantee you Fatfuck could not possibly play one full hole of real golf

Posted on August 4, 2026 at 11:13:21 AM by GlassOnion (edited August 4, 2026 at 11:16:24 AM)

On any accredited course where carts are not allowed to bulldoze straight up on the green within 16 inches of the cup.

On any real course where carts are required to remain on the cart path, he'd collapse face first into a sand trap 25 yards down the fairway.

The photo below is from 2012. He's 100 pounds heavier and probably 4 inches shorter now. Probably about the last time he played an even remotely legitimate round of golf.

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I guarantee you Fatfuck could not possibly play one full hole of real golf - By GlassOnion August 4, 2026 at 11:13:21 AM
- His caddy drops balls for him all the time. He never has to make a putt, you've seen videos of him once the ball is within three feet he just starts tapping it around and then picks it up.& - By gbmcq August 4, 2026 at 11:19:55 AM
  - Noonan, Noonan. * - By Kevin August 4, 2026 at 11:39:21 AM
  - I get in arguments with friends in the media that he shouldn't be described as 'playing golf' ... - By GlassOnion August 4, 2026 at 11:27:01 AM
    - In fairness, aside from driving the cart on the green, this pretty much describes how I play golf as well - By WestSideBlue August 4, 2026 at 11:32:38 AM
      - * - By WestSideBlue August 4, 2026 at 11:32:48 AM
    - What was your handle before?* - By tem August 4, 2026 at 11:30:54 AM

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I guarantee you Fatfuck could not possibly play one full hole of real golf