I get in arguments with friends in the media that he shouldn't be described as 'playing golf' ...

Posted on August 4, 2026 at 11:27:01 AM by GlassOnion (edited August 4, 2026 at 11:29:13 AM)

... because it implies a level of vitality and physical condition that he's nowhere near, not to mention adhering to the actual rules of golf.

What he does isn't "playing golf," more accurately it's "riding your fat ass around in a golf cart, bulldozing right up on the green, and every once in a while stepping out and taking a wild whack at a golf ball." He rarely spends more than 30 seconds at a stretch on his feet.

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I guarantee you Fatfuck could not possibly play one full hole of real golf - By GlassOnion August 4, 2026 at 11:13:21 AM
- His caddy drops balls for him all the time. He never has to make a putt, you've seen videos of him once the ball is within three feet he just starts tapping it around and then picks it up.& - By gbmcq August 4, 2026 at 11:19:55 AM
  - Noonan, Noonan. * - By Kevin August 4, 2026 at 11:39:21 AM
  - I get in arguments with friends in the media that he shouldn't be described as 'playing golf' ... - By GlassOnion August 4, 2026 at 11:27:01 AM
    - In fairness, aside from driving the cart on the green, this pretty much describes how I play golf as well - By WestSideBlue August 4, 2026 at 11:32:38 AM
      - * - By WestSideBlue August 4, 2026 at 11:32:48 AM
    - What was your handle before?* - By tem August 4, 2026 at 11:30:54 AM

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I get in arguments with friends in the media that he shouldn't be described as 'playing golf' ...