I’ve started over many times having moved a bunch, here are some of my experiences

Posted on September 14, 2026 at 08:51:03 PM by plug (edited September 14, 2026 at 08:52:04 PM)

1. Number one with a bullet, be prepared to say yes to invites you don’t want. Saturday night, you are settled, some guy is doing a fire pit, just go. Guys will invite someone a few times before they give up and file them into a wife leash category.

2. Host something, maybe invite a few friends from out of town to lighten the pressure. “I have friends coming to town, care to stop by for a barbecue.”

3. Sports are great for that initial meeting of guys. Tennis is a good example. I took lessons and the trainer recommended Tuesday quads. Bunch of guys playing doubles with all skill levels.

4. Ask one of the guys on a couples night out if they want to go to a bar for a game. Next thing, maybe he invites a friend, or friends, or says next time you should meet this guy. Just keep saying yes.

Some hobbies that have helped me build out friendships from a few to more. Oyster fire pits. I roasted a whole pig twice. Pepper garden - you’d be surprised by the number of guys who share hot sauces, get together to pickle them, I even do that hot ones challenge. I scheduled a guys offshore fishing trip, 2 of the 5 were new contacts. Same with tickets to games. Try things, don’t be afraid to be embarrassed a bit if it flops.

This can come across condescending, but it’s a real thing. My niece and her new husband are struggling with this now. It’s easy to check out and harder than people think to reconnect with guys when you don’t have kids as a crutch.

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Thread:

Any suggestions on social hobbies to take up? - By Damaniac September 14, 2026 at 08:27:26 PM
- Pickleball - Most parks/clubs have kind of a pickup basketball feel. Put your name on a board and you are up next. Easier to meet people than tennis which can also be great. At least half of our/my friends are tennis.Was it any easier in Guam? nm - By sim September 15, 2026 at 08:58:36 AM
- Running club, softball, bowling league. I promise you’ll make friends in at least 2/3* - By brick September 15, 2026 at 12:44:39 AM
  - These are good. I'll a book club or low-key darts league also worth looking into.* - By GoBrew September 15, 2026 at 07:54:13 AM
- Hard drugs* - By Poster P September 15, 2026 at 12:27:04 AM
- Learn to play guitar. Hot up some open mic nights, you'll make new friends. * - By Falco September 14, 2026 at 11:06:47 PM
- Social? Can't help. Working on withdrawing myself.* - By BlueMoose1 September 14, 2026 at 09:27:09 PM
- Train for a Hyrox* - By dp33 September 14, 2026 at 09:13:55 PM
- Gym, Cooking class, Volunteer. * - By you-of-m September 14, 2026 at 09:12:48 PM
- I really enjoyed senior league soccer in my 40s and into my 50s… - By Craig September 14, 2026 at 09:08:14 PM
- Find the local model railroad club :) nfm - By Cutter September 14, 2026 at 09:05:20 PM
  - I’m surprisingly getting into this because of my son.* - By dugfresh September 14, 2026 at 09:25:20 PM
- D&D, Trivia, Bridge* - By Cincywolve September 14, 2026 at 09:04:48 PM
- Sports Cards, Magic, or Pokemon* - By Lodz September 14, 2026 at 08:57:34 PM
  - Prior to 2025 yes, now this space is infested by the biggest scum you'll ever see. I've been in this space since the early 2000s and the last 2 years have made me disgusted - By Ks September 14, 2026 at 09:34:29 PM
- I’ve started over many times having moved a bunch, here are some of my experiences - By plug September 14, 2026 at 08:51:03 PM
  - Have you got any imitation crab meat?** - By jBdub September 14, 2026 at 09:05:24 PM
- I joined a volleyball league in my early 40's* - By carlson September 14, 2026 at 08:42:19 PM
- Golf? Imagine Dayton probably very accessible place to play* - By harbaughdyssey September 14, 2026 at 08:41:50 PM
- Maybe you could develop an obsession with some sporting team. I dunno, college sports, perhaps?* - By tem September 14, 2026 at 08:39:31 PM
- Sailboat racing. Mentally and athletically stimulating, can pick it up at any age and compete until late in life. Strong culture where everyone drinks together and discusses the racing at the end of the day. You can involve your wife. Can be expensive and addictive* - By Arctic September 14, 2026 at 08:34:11 PM
  - Might be a bit challenging to find in Dayton - By Damaniac September 14, 2026 at 08:37:42 PM
    - check out the Hueston Sailing Association. Lots of great sailing on tiny lakes or rivers* - By Arctic September 14, 2026 at 08:44:39 PM
- Check out your local high school adult education programs. I’m taking a bridge class that way* - By ajs September 14, 2026 at 08:31:18 PM

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I’ve started over many times having moved a bunch, here are some of my experiences