I might be a horrible person

Posted on September 24, 2026 at 05:33:18 PM by Alpo

As you may remember, we own a hunting house in North Dakota that we use for pheasant hunting a couple weeks a year. Usually it is six guys, two trucks, a dog trailer, several cases of Coors Light, and numerous bottles of bourbon along with some vodka. There are guns, shooting, group dinners, cribbage, college football, good exercise, great scenery, long deep conversations, funny short conversations, lots of inside jokes, everything that goes along with a typical guys trip.

One of our six just bailed out. One of the other guys in the group wants to ask another guy to take his spot. The prospective hunter has been on the trip a couple times before, and used to be a riot. Unfortunately he has gone through some really hard times in the last year or two, mostly self-inflicted and recently went through treatment and is now in recovery.

I know that alcohol really shouldn't be this important to me, but it is an integral aprt of the experience for me. The cold beer at the end of a hunt, the canned cocktail (Slow n Low) at the end of the day as the sun is going down, the manhattan while we make dinner, the bourbon neat sipped while playing a few games of crib after dinner, I can't imagine it not being a part of the experience.

I know I'm an asshole but I really hope he says no, he can't go. I can't tell anyone else about this because I have to appear supportive.

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Thread:

I might be a horrible person - By Alpo September 24, 2026 at 05:33:18 PM
- I've had periods of sobriety and never once expected people not to drink around me* - By Poster P September 24, 2026 at 06:17:46 PM
  - I think it is more "Let's be supportive of his (very recent) recovery than Jason would expect no one to drink around him. - By Alpo September 24, 2026 at 06:26:53 PM
    - What happened to him? Did all the bad stuff come from the drinking?* - By LS&Play September 24, 2026 at 06:28:32 PM
      - I hear it all second hand, but it sounds like it. - By Alpo September 24, 2026 at 06:36:30 PM
- Why do you have to be supportive? If he can’t be around alcohol, he shouldn’t be invited. Your friend is the asshole for inviting him without asking. It is crazy* - By BBA September 24, 2026 at 06:13:18 PM
- lol. I’d like to bring a buddy to Thanksgiving dinner, is it cool if we don’t eat meat in front of him? - By Rabbit September 24, 2026 at 06:04:32 PM
  - LOL* - By brick September 24, 2026 at 06:39:03 PM
- Nope, you’re right. By the way (m) - By LS&Play September 24, 2026 at 05:57:17 PM
- As someone who has been in AA for a long time, this is on him, not you. In my early sobriety, I skipped a friend's bachelor party for this reason exactly. Have been to several later on, once I was in a good place* - By Rags September 24, 2026 at 05:54:00 PM
- Just have to tell the friend who invited him that your relationship with the guy in recovery is not important enough to you to make it a dry trip. Harsh but true. (nm) - By suede September 24, 2026 at 05:47:03 PM
- Swinger story day just got a little weird* - By cp September 24, 2026 at 05:46:04 PM
  - brilliant* - By Maize4 September 24, 2026 at 06:08:09 PM
- Be honest with you friend - By el fuego September 24, 2026 at 05:45:12 PM
- Nope. Not on you at all* - By Deezy September 24, 2026 at 05:43:02 PM
- That doesn’t make you a bad person, imo. If I were involved I might tell the buddy who wants to invite the guy - By brick September 24, 2026 at 05:41:28 PM
  - He is the guy that brought it up and said "we would need to be conscious of not drinking in front of him."* - By Alpo September 24, 2026 at 05:43:49 PM
    - Kind of ballsy to want to invite someone to your hunting cabin with the caveat that there be no drinking IMO. * - By django September 24, 2026 at 05:50:25 PM
      - To be fair, he said "How about inviting Jason?", to which a couple guys on the group chat said "fine with me." Then came the "we would need to be consacious..." caveat. - By Alpo September 24, 2026 at 05:54:06 PM
    - Ooof. Kind of uncool of your friend, in my view, and I say that as someone who only drinks a little - By brick September 24, 2026 at 05:44:26 PM
- would you be expected not to drink if he attends? - By Arctic September 24, 2026 at 05:40:13 PM
  - Yes, that would be the expectation.* - By Alpo September 24, 2026 at 05:42:51 PM
    - Well that's ridiculous. I thought you meant you just didn't want him to come because you wanted everyone to get drunk. - By LewisBullox September 24, 2026 at 06:08:32 PM
- I mean it's on the alkie to control himself imo, and he knows if he comes there will be drinking. It's not on you* - By Daytripper September 24, 2026 at 05:38:52 PM

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I might be a horrible person