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I'd generally agree with that statement. I don't know how you'd incur any obligation at all until you ED but...

Posted on August 20, 2026 at 01:04:06 PM by Matt

I'd say that the relationship needs to be built on good and honest communication. If your child tells the coach that they're coming, your child should feel some obligation. Just as I'd expect that they'd treat us with that respect too. Once you apply ED I think there's a much stronger commitment.

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Thread:

Need help and suggestions from the board’s in-the-know college sports recruiting parents - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 11:31:36 AM
- I can tell you how this is playing out for my son who is a D3 football recruit. - By Matt August 20, 2026 at 12:46:58 PM
  - I should add that we will be happy to go to that small school. * - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 01:01:06 PM
  - So, basically, you are still not obligated to attend until you ED, right? Using another expression, sports recruiting does NOT take a priority over an ED. Is that right? * - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 12:53:29 PM
    - I'd generally agree with that statement. I don't know how you'd incur any obligation at all until you ED but... - By Matt August 20, 2026 at 01:04:06 PM
  - This is helpful. Thanks! * - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 12:50:01 PM
- A couple suggestions… - By Craig August 20, 2026 at 12:32:00 PM
- A few things - By Paumanok August 20, 2026 at 12:24:03 PM
  - Thanks. And... - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 12:49:18 PM
  - Not sure if the dynamic is the same for country club sports - but women’s college sports have the added dimension - By xcheck August 20, 2026 at 12:31:53 PM
- My only advice is your whole mindset needs a lot more “she” and a lot less “we”. It’s her life. Her decision. Your just there to make sure she doesn’t get taken advantage of in the process** - By xcheck August 20, 2026 at 11:49:58 AM
  - Yeah this* - By Charlie August 20, 2026 at 11:50:33 AM
- Can't she have a frank conversation with the coach(s) ? I assume with her profile a coach can get them in without the normal application process. * - By Cincywolve August 20, 2026 at 11:46:19 AM
  - An ultimatum email to the coach has already been sent, but the coach is notorious for lack of email correspondence. * - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 11:49:30 AM
    - Many college coaches are glorified gym teachers. Not the best nor the brightest sometimes.* - By Paumanok August 20, 2026 at 12:25:21 PM
    - Ahhh coaches*** - By Cincywolve August 20, 2026 at 11:50:51 AM
- Narrow slice of this: most schools most of the time very much like good students who stick with a challenging outside schedule. - By ftb August 20, 2026 at 11:41:55 AM
  - The so-called supporting letter from the coach only works for their own school's admission office. - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 11:48:00 AM
    - That's what I meant, though I may have gotten the wrong idea of your preferences. - By ftb August 20, 2026 at 12:07:24 PM
- Does your daughter want to attend the Ivy League school? (m) - By suede August 20, 2026 at 11:35:48 AM
  - Not the one you went to. :) - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 11:41:31 AM
  - She likes both, but her slight preference is the Ivy, since it's bigger. * - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 11:40:31 AM
- Why does the bottom Ivy win the tiebreaker over the current offer? - By Nikos August 20, 2026 at 11:35:25 AM
  - That is a very valid question and a highly debatable one. But as a whole, I am just not a huge fan of small schools. Plus, you know, even a bottom Ivy carries the name of an "Ivy." I know it's vain... But the small school is a highly highly reputable school. - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 11:39:36 AM
    - So you don't prefer the small school; what does your daughter truly prefer? Some general comments ... - By kccambo August 20, 2026 at 12:08:27 PM
      - She likes bigger schools also, but the preference is not overwhelming * - By BobEvans August 20, 2026 at 12:51:26 PM
    - I unconsciously made my undergrad choice based on maximizing snob appeal. Would not recommend. (nm) - By suede August 20, 2026 at 11:42:11 AM
      - trying to be helpful suede... - By ajs August 20, 2026 at 12:04:58 PM
        
        Extremely helpful. The correction has been noted. (nm) - By suede August 20, 2026 at 12:17:34 PM
      - I chose the school with the hottest chicks. Love and Honor!*** - By Cincywolve August 20, 2026 at 11:47:46 AM
        
        I thought you went to Michigan in the late '80s.* - By Cap August 20, 2026 at 12:30:43 PM

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